Buckle up, you glitter-soaked peasants, because I’m about to rip the sequined mask off Hollywood’s festering cesspool! We’re diving headfirst into the Twenty Dumbest Hollywood Hate Mongers—a shrieking coven of fame-drunk lunatics who’ve turned their ivory towers into hate-spewing volcanoes. These aren’t stars; they’re black holes of sanity, sucking up reason and vomiting venom so rancid it could curdle the Pacific Ocean. And I’m here, screaming through the wreckage, to call out all of these clowns!
1-Let’s start with Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of Freakouts. Slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars like a deranged caveman defending his open-marriage empire—give me a break! He’s not a hero; he’s a tantrum in a tuxedo.
2-Then there’s Robert De Niro, growling “punk, pig, mutt” at half the country, his face twisted like he’s auditioning for The Godfather: Rage Quit Edition. Now he’s only famous for saying “F*CK TRUMP!” Bobby, your tough-guy act expired in ’92—sit down!
3-Cher’s next, warbling about conservatives like she’s still relevant. “Poor, gay, or minority? Don’t vote red!” she screeches from her $135 million Malibu crypt. Newsflash, Cher: not everyone’s a vegan cyborg with a private island!
4&5-Alyssa Milano’s in the mix too, hashtag-warrioring her way to oblivion, clutching #MeToo like it’s her Oscar-worthy biopic. Alyssa, Jussie Smollett conned you harder than Netflix conned us with Cuties—wake up!
6-Michael Moore waddles in, a sweaty propaganda blob, ranting about “anti-white racism” while sitting on a throne of privilege thicker than his documentaries.
7-Kathy Griffin’s not far behind, that unhinged banshee waving bloody Trump heads and doxxing teenagers like she’s the Joker’s rejected sidekick. Real brave, Kathy—threatening Barron Trump from your D-list dungeon!
8-Don’t forget Mark Ruffalo, the Hulk of Hypocrisy, whining about climate change while jetting to premieres. Green rage doesn’t offset your carbon footprint, Mark!
9-Then there’s Bette Midler, cackling about “misogyny” and “fascists” like she’s still in Hocus Pocus—except now she’s the witch cursing flyover states.
10-Sean Penn’s here too, Mr. Humanitarian, fist-pumping for dictators while calling Americans “ignorant.” Sean, your sanctimony’s more unbearable than I Am Sam!
